i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
