my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize