Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
