I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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