I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
