Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
