I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
