Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
