I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
