Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your penis caused this!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize