This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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