Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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