you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
