Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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