TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
