Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
