oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize