giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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