He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
