I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
