He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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