I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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