they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
