i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He shit in the fireplace
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
