If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
