Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
