did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
