The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
