You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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