Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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