Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
