I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You smell like stripper and shame
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
