I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
