Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Swine flu. Run for my life!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize