why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
