This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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