Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
