Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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