If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
