Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
