she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
not ubering you a puppy
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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