please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
