You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
