I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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