Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
