I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
