On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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