I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
