Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
