I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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