An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize