omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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