Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
