You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
