Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
