i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
