my phone needs a breathalizer
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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