dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
