i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
