You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
