she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
