How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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