Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
