Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
