Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
