Porn is love you can see.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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