Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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