waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
