Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
