scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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