I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
