He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize