They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize