I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize