and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
