sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
